God was never on my radar

The funny thing is, I never went looking for God.  God was nowhere on my radar.  I had done with God long ago, in my youth.  I didn't turn on God, I didn't reject Him in anger, I simply looked but was unable to find Him.  Religion offered faith, but that was not enough for me; I needed to know.  So I turned East and began to cast my gaze toward enlightenment.

Osho talked about God, sometimes lovingly, tenderly, but more often with contempt and derision.  I see, in retrospect, that he was talking about two Gods: one awake, one asleep.  But as I say, God was not on my radar, in one ear, out the other.  Who cared about God, we were there for enlightenment.

Wasn't I in for a surprise!  For as I began to awaken, more and more it was beginning to feel very Biblical to me.  What was awakening, and how it was awakening was having more and more the feeling of a western spiritual path.  One I'd never heard of, didn't know about, was being revealed to me, piece by piece.

In retrospect, it makes sense.  Even though I had gone to the East, worked with an eastern master, nonetheless the consciousness I had, the consciousness that was awakening, was western, and there is a difference.  The techniques developed for an eastern consciousness aren't necessarily going to be effective in undoing the unique ego structure that has developed in the West. 

Note the yin/yang symbol representing eastern consciousness; it is feminine, all curves, not a straight line, not an angle, for eastern consciousness is feminine (or at least it was), whereas the symbol representing western consciousness is the star of David; all lines and angles, not a soft curve to be found, for western consciousness is masculine.